Expecting More

I have a home now, my own base that I can work, sleep, relax, read, have fun and ‘chill’ in, located in a cozy housing village in Udon Thani, north east Thailand (Isaan region).

I’ve been settled here for over two months, and I all ready feel miles away from that backpacking traveller that I used to be. Maybe it’s because of the slower, slightly more stable way of life I’ve began to adapt, but I find myself ‘expecting more’ of everything:

Expecting more from myself – I’m not just talking about cutting down on the procrastination and increasing output (always a challenge of course), I’m talking about improving the quality of my life. I’m more present with my actions, small things like not shying away in conversations when I know that I’m right I have valid input, dedicating time to socializing and actually enjoying time with others rather then wishing I was back at my laptop all the time, not allowing others to take advantage of me, striving for the best (health, wealth & relationships – doing the best I can in all three areas at all times) and generally not allowing myself to do some of the stupid ‘ish I used to do constantly. It’s refreshing, there’s a sense of pride in holding yourself to higher standards.

Expecting more from those around me – I was playing a game of badminton in the local sweatbox hall a couple of weeks ago, and I caught myself furiously shouting at my doubles partner after she left a relatively easy shot and gave the opposition an easy lead, all because she couldn’t be bothered to jog a couple of steps and return the shuttlecock. Neither of us are badminton pro’s, and I could care less about a missed swing or even an easy return that hits the net – but not returning out of laziness, that deserves a verbal ass kicking.

If you’ve met me, you might have caught on to my ‘live and let live’ philosophy. I find the fence comfortable to sit on, and have had a pretty stress-free time the last few years by not ruffling anyone’s feathers. This has changed with those that I actively care about. I’m doing those around me a dis-service by not being more opinionated, calling people on their bullshit, and generally not being brave/thoughtful enough to pick a side on issues. If you catch me giving you a hard time/lecturing you after you vent about your girlfriend problems , it’s because I love you dawg!

Expecting more in business – niche sites and quick ways to pull in $500 just don’t cut it anymore. I wan’t to be part of things that are going to change some lives. And if something is not going to change lives, it must be valid enough to fund/be utilized for something that is. I’ve got bills to pay, I have a vision of success that isn’t going to be achieved by purely doing things that I wan’t to do: but I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend a solid portion of my life (which is what I’m willing to give to the right cause/business) doing mind numbing work that provides no real value.

I’ve worked in a call centre selling exterior paint that protects your house from rain damage (yes, it was as shitty a product as it sounds), and I actually made decent money doing it. My life sucked though, go figure.

Now don’t go all spoilt brat on me, there’s a difference between expecting + working and expecting + wishing/talking: do the best that you can and expect the best from those close to you & the things that are important to you – it the sweet spot that works for me.